Colin and Chris Weir Euro Millions Lottery Winners To Go Public? Big Mistake!

In around 20 minutes, the The pair, from the FALKIRK, Scotland, will perform at a press conference to brag about their record winnings (£162M Roughly). Now I for one have never understood why you would do this unless you just wanted to brag or if it is all a hoax and there fait will be that of the lottery winners in the movie the island.

If I won even £1Million, I would lock the doors, close the curtains and keep quiet. I would of course then spend all of the money building a gold suit of armour incase We ever revert back to old skool warfare and I could bag the hot princesses due to my fetching attire whilst jousting our enemies via horseback.


But this is a big story and they will have everyone interested in them, now with rich celebs, they have companies behind them to deal with nuisance calls and beggars etc and not only that but many have built up their fortunes over time and developed a tolerance to it. These people are gonna OD on money.


I would worry about the following if I were them:


- Constant charity harassment - Just think how bad it is for us, Joe Public, walking down a high street when you accidentally make eye contact with a chugger, theres no escape unless you lie good to them. I always tell them that I am Zog from the planet teethron and watch as they try and leave the conversation only to realised I have already cello taped there leg to my arm and there is no escape now.

- They will also get constant baggers full of charity stories, "Oh my kids a genius and can't afford to go to Harvard, please help, its pennies to you" - This would be annoying but also enable you to respond harshly with comments like "you should of used a condom then" or "your family should have worked harder" in the knowledge that you have recently purchased ED-209 from Robocop 2 and he has got your back - As soon as they hear "Halt, you have 10 seconds to comply" they will be off your property.

- Friends who you can not trust - They will have 6th cousins from all over the world coming forward and kids who they were bullied by at school treating them like royalty just wanting a piece of the pie. Again though, you could spend he day hiring out the BBC studio for Total Wipeout & make them play it out for some cash but make some dangerous modifications (Acid instead of water and cover the boxing gloves in Jam whilst firing Bee hives at them) 

In fact writing this has changed my whole perspective, yes you make yourself a target for villains who can break into your home for money  or kidnap your kids, but think of all the horrible yet fun things you can do to the scroungers? 


If the Winners ever read this, then I will happily accept a large portion of money sprinkled with a taste of jealousy and hate from the rest of the public as long as you realise that I will sue the money to build some kind of animal catching machine that turns cats into Kinder eggs.


Enjoy the money and remember, it is there to share.