I kept seeing posters for this on the underground and was hoping that it would be a light hearted romp about a vampire who fell in love with Reese Witherspoon but no, this was a sick, twisted tail of Bestiality, not what you would expect from a 12a rated movie.
The kids I were with were horrified. In fairness, not as horrified as their parents, when they realised that they had gone from their seats watching an entirely different movie in a different city but I was not going in their alone.
The plot: The day walker (Robert Pattinson) returns as a loveable Rogue who murders his parents by accident because he was drink flying a plane so he quits a good education training to be a architect and jumps on a train with the circus. He then lies and says that he is a vet so they do not throw him off the train. The train / circus is controlled by a former Nazi (Christoph Waltz) who is the leader of the rings. He doesn't like the day walker from day one as he can smell his animal loving breath on his wife's neck (Reese Witherspoon). I do not want to give any more away of the plot but all I can say is, there is a graphic sexual scene involving a vampire and an elephant! It is sick, honestly, it makes the human centipede 2 look like Disney's Fantasia.
The extended graphic sex scene aside, there is a story about the relationships of the people too and this is pretty shit. If you are a chick, then you will think this is an ok film. If you are a dude and like The Transporter, then this will make you chop off your fingers so you can jab them further into your eye sockets.
Overall : 2 ComedyMurphs out of 5
